2016

So 2016 is upon us. Facebook for the last couple of days has been full of “New Year, New Me” bollocks, and it’s funny how people use the arbitrary change of the calendar year as their impetus for making such changes. Funny, because it’s also very probably the reason those changes are doomed to failure. Yeah, sure, the turn of the year does engender reflection (especially when one has spent the last week in the company of loved ones one hasn’t seen in a while), but a long list of failed resolutions by both you and your friends is all the evidence one needs that, once you’ve returned to real life, that reflectiveness soon fades. And you fall into the same traps you did last year, because every year is the same.

What I’m saying is: if you’re unhappy with your life in June, start making your changes in June. It really is as simple as that. At least then the changes are not a decision you made while essentially on holiday, away from your normal life, and your normal life doesn’t intrude on your new regime after 3 days – you’ve made your changes intrude on your old routines instead.

But, hey, why should I lecture you? I’m doing much the same, albeit by accident. I’ve been meaning to get a grip for a while – regular readers will have some inkling as to how far my mental health has spiralled downhill in the last six months. I was wanting to get a grip in December, but I didn’t have the will to do it while it meant missing out on the partying of the season.

I’ve been away between Christmas and New Year, spending time with people I haven’t seen in too long and really should spend more time with. It’s not made me reassess my life, but it has proven to me that some of the things I’m aiming for are worthwhile. It’s also demonstrated to me that I have to acknowledge and work to satisfy a need that I’ve been trying to bury and ignore. Yes, that’s deliberately cryptic.

So what does my New Year hold? It’s time to give myself permission to do all the things that I’ve been treating as low priority. I spend a lot of my time not-entirely-consciously trying to live up to the expectations of perceived authority, and That. Shit. Is. Over. I need to move away from my mum again to get properly out of that headspace, but I can still work harder to prioritise my own projects in the meantime. I need to work to improve my mental health, too. If only to keep on an even keel in what could prove to be a very busy year. I need to write again, and this post is the beginning of that. And the band has big things ahead over the course of the next few months. I’ll tell you about that next week.

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~ by Scary Rob on 4 January, 2016.

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