More Self-Affirmation

My friend Shaz recently told me that Nevermore makes for “depressing reading”. Lately, I just seem to pass through, making promises affirming my determination to go out and achieve any number of goals, but I never seem to post anything that suggests I’ve actually achieved anything. The short reason for this is that I’ve found myself treading water in life at the moment, and I never seem to get myself actually swimming again.

So this is another one of those affirmation posts where I make false promises. First, though, I have to admit to a failure. I said a month ago that I was working on a short story for an anthology. Needless to say, I didn’t make the deadline and there are several reasons for this. The most important one, the absolute killer, is the fact that I just don’t write anymore. I have no discipline, I am not spending much time being creative, I am just whiling away hours clicking uselessly at facebook. If I’m going to turn my computer on that bloody often, I need to be doing something more productive. I can check all my correspondence in half an hour flat, usually, so there’s little need for me to be in my emails and social network accounts beyond an hour tops (assuming I have replies to write).

So I need to get back to writing fitness, and that requires simple discipline. I know I only ever got four regular readers for Running from Nothing, but they did give me a lot of positive feedback, so the thing I need to do is get back to regular updates – just to get into the rhythm of creating again. Then maybe I can go through the necessary process of writing something actually fit to publish. We’ll call that the ultimate goal, with getting Running from Nothing back to a regular schedule as my first baby steps towards that.

So have I achieved anything that I can report back to make this blog more uplifting? Well, not yet. Harlequin’s Kiss will be playing our first major support slot in a new city in August, but the promoter has been trying to get us involved in Leicester for just under a year, now, so I’m not sure it counts as a step forward. We’ll see what comes off the back of it. One thing I can say, though is that the events of the last week have proved one thing to me: I need to get a grip and move my life on. There’s one two-bit bastard who thinks he’s a mafia don that I can do without, and nothing will give me greater pleasure than to move on to better things while he wallows in shite and convinces himself he’s king. Let’s see if I can keep enough energy up to make these better things come sooner rather than later.

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~ by Scary Rob on 7 June, 2013.

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