2012 Motherfuckers!

So for New Year’s Eve, I went to Eddies for my first New Year party there since the brief stint in the Gosta Green. Actually, it was my first New Year’s Eve out since 2006-7, mostly because the atmosphere in the Gosta that night was something I doubt I will ever see topped. But I was working ’til 8 on the big night this year, so I couldn’t feasibly host my own party and none of my friends seemed to be doing anything much either. In fact, one of them texted me to ask if I had a plan…

I was always going to play it by ear. I wanted to avoid Eddies for fear of tarnishing my memories of 2007, but I was torn between the familiarity of Scruffy’s (where I knew some of my friends were going) and the urge to have an adventure. Eddies seemed like a good compromise because I didn’t know who would be there. So, not having pre-booked a ticket, I went there figuring that I could always wander round town and see where I could get into if it was booked out.

And what a night it turned out to be! It wasn’t a repeat of the Gosta, but it reminded me who I am and what I am. I drank, I danced and I chatted with some old friends and even some new faces. There was nothing to tell a story out of, unfortunately for this blog, but it was one of the first times I’ve felt truly myself in quite some time. It felt good.

So if there are no misadventures to report, then what’s the point of this post? Well, I think it’s a statement of intent. The events, or non-events, of last year almost broke me. My confidence was shot, I was beginning to feel like I’d lost whatever it was that made me the king of my own personal world in the years before, and I thought I was just going to die unhealthy, unhappy, and unremembered. Now I know I’m still me. And I’m still awesome. I’m going to get a real job, that pays real wages with a real working week. I’m going to find a drummer for my band. We’re going to record music and play gigs. And by December we’ll be one of the biggest draws in Birmingham.

2011 did not happen. I want to put it behind me. In 2011 I failed a masters degree, ended up in therapy, and began to convince myself that I was losing my friends (the black dog will do this to you). Now I know who I am, I won’t let this happen again. I’m back and I’m in control. And I’m making 2012 the year of the Rob, motherfuckers!

(And the one friend that did genuinely abandon me in my hour of need has now been relegated to “people I worked with once.” She knows who she is.)

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~ by Scary Rob on 2 January, 2012.

4 Responses to “2012 Motherfuckers!”

  1. Happy New Year mate, and here’s wishing you a wonderful 2012.

  2. HNY Robbles, I hope ’12 is a better one for you. Come see me in the Smoke sometime, Brixton would love you :-P,

    Euan x

    • Cheers ! Happy New Year, dude! I might take you up on that, but firstly, Dale and Maynard have been making “coming to Brum” noises, so I’ll be opening my house to you guys as soon as finances allow me to paint the town red again…

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