Adventures in Domestic Stupidity

Igor has a lock on his door. Yeah, I know it’s not quite “Jacob Marley was dead to begin with” but you get what you pay for. Anyway, this lock doesn’t have a working snip which means that it must remain forever locked, which is something of a pain when maintenance work needs doing in his room and I’m the only one in. A month or two ago we had a guy round to fix the hole in our roof once and for all, saga that that hole in the roof had turned into. The guy did the first round of work and left his step ladder behind for the next day. Igor got home later and everything was fine and dandy. Until Igor changed out of his work clothes and left his keys in his room.

It was only when it was time for him to go to bed that we found that the draught from the open window had blown his door shut. We looked at the closed door with dread. Last time something like this happened, we had to phone the landlord and he ended up chiselling the lock out with a screwdriver as a locksmith would cost more to call out than replacing the door. I was in bed that time. Being woken up to the sound of hammering did not amuse me. Our eyes alighted on the abandoned ladder. It wasn’t just a step ladder; it could extend upwards as well, so out of the house we went with Igor in his carpet slippers and me in my pyjamas and dressing gown to see how subtly we could break into our own house.

The first snag was that the ladder was missing a plastic foot. On the uneven path outside the house, we’d set up a nice little death-trap ready to ascend. A quick fix with a telephone directory later, Igor made his way up the ladder to discover snag two. Not only did the ladder not reach the window, it was too far from the window for him to haul himself up from the third step from the top. So I gave it a go.

You know how in primary school or safety classes they tell you not to stand on the top step of a ladder? It’s pretty difficult to balance and thus pretty unsafe. And that was precisely the reason I ended up hooking my arms over Igor’s window-ledge and hanging on like grim death. With a little effort, I managed to drag myself in and get his door open. I’m not considering burglary as a career option; I bloody hate heights.


~ by Scary Rob on 5 November, 2007.

One Response to “Adventures in Domestic Stupidity”

  1. lol……………nice one.

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