Life in the new place

This year had much potential for disaster in terms of us living together, it has to be said. Rose engineered us together, asking Legolas and I separately to come and live with her, despite the fact that Legolas and I had only met twice before we started house hunting. It’s turned out ok, if by ok you mean that it’s Rose I’ve come closest to falling out with these past couple of months. Having quirky personalities, this place is developing into a complete mad house, although I think my monopoly on stupid behaviour hasn’t been fully compromised just yet…

A couple of months ago, I went to the MAC (an arts centre near Edgbaston Cricket Ground) to meet Destructogirl for the first time (we’d been exchanging emails for a while after meeting on a BBC chat room). Four pints later, I began walking home at half past eleven. My route home should have taken me a left turn down Bristol Road and ended in forty minutes. I took a left turn too early and ended up on Pershore Road, which runs parallel to Bristol Road for a while before the two form a wedge and curl off in different directions. Apparently my walk home took me within 200 yards of the Cadbury works…

Alcohol is something of a bane for everyone. I’m kinda lucky in that I know cider just makes me giggly. I should have realised that my housemates were violent drunks ages ago – if I had, Rose may not have bitch-slapped Legolas for taking the Mickey out of her custard one evening after I’d been feeding them specialist ciders. It’s amazing we haven’t seriously broken anything in our house yet. Legolas has taken a small chunk out of his bedroom door with a katana, but that’s it. I’m just rambling now, aren’t I?

I’m writing this at 1am and I ought to consider going to bed, especially as the tales of rampant stupidity I’m trying to tell here are going to be disjointed at this rate. Well, sod it.

Stupid tale 3

It’s amazing how no-one takes any notice of a guy wearing a dressing gown in a supermarket. Well except the guy in the fruit and veg aisle giving me a ‘what the fuck!?’ stare. I was having a slobbing-round-in-my-dressing-gown-because-I-can’t-be-arsed-to-get-dressed day and discovered in the evening that we didn’t have enough food for dinner. So I did the ten-minute walk up to Sainsbury’s in my pyjamas. It wasn’t as funny as I thought it would be…

Stupid tale 4

I went to put my washing on the other day, and as I opened the drawer of the washing machine I found something rather odd. The pre-wash compartment was full of powder, the powder compartment had its usual residue and the conditioner compartment was full of sludge. Later, I asked Legolas what was going on (Rose had already gone home for Christmas, a week early) and he replied, ‘Are you going to kill me if I tell you it was an experiment to see what happened? I think I was drunk at the time. I’d have cleaned it up myself, but I completely forgot I’d done it…’

I’m going to get back to regular blogging soon…

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~ by Scary Rob on 14 December, 2005.

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