Back to biographical posting for a bit, now, as life has started to get interesting again. I moved back to Birmingham on Saturday and the usual oddness of my life has instantly caught back up with me. I overslept on Saturday morning, meaning that I ended up two hours behind where I was meant to be with my packing so that it was half past ten by the time I’d loaded up my sister’s car and she’d got me from Cambridge to my new home in Selly Oak. She wanted to get off to her home in Nottingham, having had a bit of a rough week, so we had a quick chat in my living room before she dropped me off at Eddie’s (the nightclub, not a person’s house) and drove off home. Not having planned to be out that night, I wasn’t expecting to see anyone I knew – even most of the people I only know by sight were missing, come to think of it. But I did bump into Bunny and The Emperor, a couple of fellas I know from various societies at the University. Come to think of it, the first part of the night was a bit slow, especially as I had to stay sober in order to make my bed properly when I got back. The worst of it was, the bouncer recognises me now so I didn’t get frisked at the door this week – and that’s the only action I’ve been getting for the past three months!

Anyway, I digress. After kicking out time I had a chat with a rather drunken Emperor, who invited me along to what was ostensibly a party at a place called ‘Smut Mansions’ which turned out to be round the corner from where I live (I dread to imagine what would have happened if it had been on the other side of town, come to think…). After a bit of shenanigans involving a big, fuck-off spider (I am not ashamed to say that arachnids scare me shitless) which the Emperor failed to catch (the last we saw, it fell into an empty Grolsch box…) I ended up sat outside with a bunch of people I didn’t know from Adam having a conversation that went from accents to Star Wars porn (starting with Ewoks and going on to Wookies, Jar-Jar Binks, Hutts and Yoda) with accompanying sound effects. We were under somebody’s bedroom window, and I’m sure they were surprised to wake up to the sound of two Wookies getting it on…

I finally got home at seven on Sunday morning.

The rest of this week has been spent doing fuck-all. I should really get my stuff out of the living room, but that requires giving my bedroom a thorough clean first. And that will involve stupidity like washing curtains and cleaning the half-inch-high fur on the window ledges (I’m not exaggerating…). I don’t want to do it, but I have to. I’ve only just been to Tesco to get the required mould and mildew remover and I’m procrastinating again. I’m not even at home – I’m in the learning centre at the University, with the sole aim of blogging rather than doing real work. I’m a hopeless case. Yesterday, I met Ricohart on my way to Tesco and ended up in a pub instead. Two pints later I ended up at his house via a chipshop and an off-license. Four cans of Strongbow later, I was wandering home half pissed at three in the morning…

Today, I have still failed to achieve anything useful and have acquiered two Laurel and Hardy DVDs and the second series of Robin of Sherwood. I have also written a letter to the President of the Guild of Students regarding this piece of stupidity. All this and my bedroom still isn’t fit to live in yet.


~ by Scary Rob on 14 September, 2005.

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