Exams

Okay, as I’ve said, I’ve left the last few months untold so now it’s flashback time. Let us head back to May for the first major instalment of my playing catch-up. It was the day before my last exam – a two part exam about the medieval side of the course. I had done sod-all revision for it in the preceding week and so I panicked. I bought several bags of sweets and several cans of Tesco’s own brand version of Red Bull (it calls itself ‘Kick’). Over the course of the night I just ate sugar and drank caffeine. I had about an hour’s sleep before I left for the exam. I drank three cans of kick on the way to the campus. By the time I sat down in the exam hall, I had lost most of my attachment to reality and could only feel my body in a very abstract sort of way…

Half an hour before the end of the exam, I ran out of things to say. So I sat there for a few minutes. It wouldn’t be long before the period in which we were permitted to leave early was over, so I had a think balancing the chances of my having a last-minute stroke of genius against a sudden desperate need for some fresh air. The latter won and I staggered dizzily from the Great Hall and drank in a few gulps of the air I’d been lusting after for ten minutes. I considered my state of health and thought about going to bed as I wandered to the Guild to buy something (as yet I hadn’t decided what) from the shop. The answer struck me as I wandered towards the counter: chilled Strongbow at eight for five pounds. I took the eight cans back to the Great Hall and cracked one open and offered the others to anyone I knew as the rest of my coursemates finished and left. It didn’t take long for me to get pissed…

Finally, I went to the sci-fi society meeting where I was invited to join a Warhammer based roleplay game. I ended up creating a female duellist character who happened to weigh 200lb. I passed the exam, so I found out later, so the only moral for this story I can think of is never roleplay while up to one’s eyeballs on caffeine and alcohol.

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~ by Scary Rob on 28 June, 2005.

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