Okay, as I’ve said, I’ve left the last few months untold so now it’s flashback time. Let us head back to May for the first major instalment of my playing catch-up. It was the day before my last exam – a two part exam about the medieval side of the course. I had done sod-all revision for it in the preceding week and so I panicked. I bought several bags of sweets and several cans of Tesco’s own brand version of Red Bull (it calls itself ‘Kick’). Over the course of the night I just ate sugar and drank caffeine. I had about an hour’s sleep before I left for the exam. I drank three cans of kick on the way to the campus. By the time I sat down in the exam hall, I had lost most of my attachment to reality and could only feel my body in a very abstract sort of way…

Half an hour before the end of the exam, I ran out of things to say. So I sat there for a few minutes. It wouldn’t be long before the period in which we were permitted to leave early was over, so I had a think balancing the chances of my having a last-minute stroke of genius against a sudden desperate need for some fresh air. The latter won and I staggered dizzily from the Great Hall and drank in a few gulps of the air I’d been lusting after for ten minutes. I considered my state of health and thought about going to bed as I wandered to the Guild to buy something (as yet I hadn’t decided what) from the shop. The answer struck me as I wandered towards the counter: chilled Strongbow at eight for five pounds. I took the eight cans back to the Great Hall and cracked one open and offered the others to anyone I knew as the rest of my coursemates finished and left. It didn’t take long for me to get pissed…

Finally, I went to the sci-fi society meeting where I was invited to join a Warhammer based roleplay game. I ended up creating a female duellist character who happened to weigh 200lb. I passed the exam, so I found out later, so the only moral for this story I can think of is never roleplay while up to one’s eyeballs on caffeine and alcohol.


~ by Scary Rob on 28 June, 2005.

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